Less Is More

Sometimes less is indeed more. Today is Valentine's Day and many men will go all-out and have a dozen red roses delivered to their sweetie's office (so the other girls can get jealous) and probably take them out to a price-fixe dinner. (Think the restaurant scene near the end of the movie Valentine's Day.) Despite the gesture, many of these women will be disappointed that they only received a dozen red roses because they were also hoping for a box from Tiffany's or Louis Vuitton. 


I remember one year when I bought my girlfriend (besides a couple other things) a pair of concert tickets to see Christina Aguilera and The Pussycat Girls. The seats were center-stage within the first 10 rows. After opening-up the gift I noticed something was different about her. Upon inquiry, she didn't hesitate to tell me that the guy she was dating two months prior had gotten her tickets to the same concert and that those tickets were front row. I don't remember all the details after this incident, but suffice it to say that we broke-up soon thereafter. As for the concert tickets, I ungifted them and sold them to one of my buddies. Ironically, when this girl discovered my uberdater blog she emailed me that she is "Not impressed!!! I thought you thought more of women." I guess she doesn't get it that it is women who behave like her that bring-out the uberdater alter ego in me.


So, gentleman, the best strategy is to get your date a holiday card and little or nothing else for valentine's day. In other words, you can't go wrong if you merely let a Hallmark card put your feelings into words. On the other hand, if you make a more solemn effort to acknowledge the holiday and your feelings for her, you're likely to disappoint and not meet her expectations.

Purchasing versus Leasing

With Valentine's Day around the corner, I wanted to reaffirm the value of leasing versus purchasing.

Purchasing: The math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is as follows... After five years of marriage, he paid her $49 million. Assuming he had sex every night during their five-year relationship it ended-up costing him $26,849 per time. This is Heather.

Leasing: On the other hand, New York Governor Elliot Spitzer's hot hooker, Kristen, charges $4,000 per night. This is Kristen.

Conclusion: 

Had Paul McCartney "employed" Kristen for five years, he would have paid $7.3 million in total for sex every night for five years--a savings of $41.7 million. Value-added benefits with Kristen are:

-young and hot

-no coaxing

-never a headache

-happily agrees to all requests

-no complaining

-no honey-do lists

Best of all, she leaves and comes back when asked--all at 1/7th the cost and no legal fees. So, sometimes leasing just makes more sense.

The above made the rounds on the internet, but I'm not aware of the original source. So, if you know the source please forward it to me so I give credit to the originalsource.

Three Strikes You're Out (Part 4 of 4)

If she sees you as boyfriend or marriage material she may not want to be perceived as an easy lay. This scenario can be identified when you’re on a date and heading towards second or third base, and she says “You have to stop, I have to be good." This is also the culprit when you have a mutual sexually-progressive date on the first or second date, but she limits subsequent dates to kissing or caressing. She fears giving it up too soon and tells you that she has a rule to wait a certain number of dates or weeks or months. However long that is will be a random amount of time that she determines. And, of course, during this furlow period whenever you try to make a move you’ll get accused of just wanting sex from her. For me the clearest example was the girl that got topless on the second date, but then told me she wanted to wait three months before having sex. And, her three-month rule included no fooling-around whatsoever. Upon further inquiry to better understand her self-imposed celibacy, she admitted to having one-night stands with guys she didn’t perceive as having long-term potential as a mate, but saw herself as getting serious with me so she wanted to wait to have a physical relationship with me. In response, she got the tough-love speech from me wherein I told her of my three-date rule and we had one more date after that.


Hopefully you’re enlightened now and will remember to keep your eyes on your goal. If a girl is impeding you from getting what you want then move-on because there are women who are looking for the same thing you are.


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Three Strikes You're Out (Part 3 of 4)

If she makes excuses to not be physical with you, you might think that she’s just a good girl. Some women will say that they don’t want to be physical with you so they can be sure that you’re not with them just for the sex when in fact you probably didn’t sleep with this girl yet anyway. In reality, you would be shocked to discover that after you take her home--probably after you paid for your night on the town together--she goes to another guy’s house or has some dude come over to her house for sex. That lucky guy is the one that knows better than to spend a fortune on a date to get laid. Instead, he goes out with his friends and if he doesn’t get lucky he arranges (probably during your date) a booty call with your date. Or, better yet, he already made plans to hook-up with your date; but, if he has the chance to hook-up with another girl he cancels on your date. So, this may be a paradigm shift for you to accept that your date knows in advance of your night our with her that you’re going to take her to a nice dinner, get her drunk, be her designated driver, and that she’s not going to sleep with you because she has plans to party with another guy after your date. In view of this, don’t tolerate girls who text message during your date or take an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom because they are likely to be making plans for their midnight bedroom antics with a guy other than you. There have been plenty of times that I spoke to an ex-girlfriend on a Friday or Saturday afternoon and had her tell me that she had a date that night. I’d tell her to call or text me if her date turns-out to be a drip. So, I’d inevitably end-up with her coming over for a booty call after her date. This is a two-way street that you can use to your advantage. If you’re on a date make every effort to get her home early. If bachelorette number one is not topless within an hour you still have a chance of hooking-up with bachelorette number two.

To be continued.

Three Strikes You're Out (Part 2 of 4)

If your date is just not into sex, she’s not the girl for you. You want a girl with a healthy libido; a girl that wants sex as often or more than you do and even initiates sex. Many chicks give guys grief for always wanting sex. That’s not the girl you want. There are plenty of women out there that want sex as much or more than you do. This is the girl that is proactive and understands that your date is going to include sex. In contrast, too many girls let you wine and dine them only to tell you later that evening--as you’re rounding second base--that she wants to take it slow and that there won’t be any bedroom antics that night. That then becomes the scene where you remind her of your "put out or get out" rule.

To be continued.

Ride Closures

Have you ever been to Disneyland? If so, you’ve probably noticed that they post a sign between the ticket windows outside the park listing the rides that are out of service that day. Hence, you can decide before purchasing a pricy admission ticket if the price of admission is worth it based on the particular ride closures. Similarly, I appreciate it when I have a date lined-up and the woman notifies me a few days before that she got her period and asks me if I still want to go out. This girl gets it. She understands the purpose of dating and that we’ll end-up in the bedroom at the end of the night. Usually I will be empathic and let her know that I still want our date to proceed and that I understand since she is on her period that after the date it can be all about me. In other words, if she’s uncomfortable having sex on her period, that I’ll be happy with a BJ. The girl I don’t want to go out with is the one who replies that since she is on her period she doesn’t want to have sex and that if she can’t have sex I can’t either. This is like going out to eat with woman who is allergic to shellfish, and telling me that I can’t order lobster for myself. Of course this brings to mind the incident where some guy ate peanuts and later kissed his girlfriend who was allergic to peanuts and she went into anaphylactic shock and died as a result of French kissing the peanut eater.